English Teacher – Traveling Mark

Road Trip to Banteay Srei

This whole road trip idea was planned out to be a surprise for Ha and her daughter. I knew Ha couldn’t score a normal job in Cambodia – being both Vietnamese (keep in mind that Cambodians are extremely racist – just ask any Vietnamese person who’s ever visited Cambodia) and illegal to seek employment in Cambodia, so the only option she was left with was prostitution in Siem Reap‘s night clubs. However, the more time she spent with me, the wearier she kept getting of this whole idea of selling her body for money. Since she couldn’t have an actual job, Ha would the daytime with her daughter, as there was simply nothing other she could do. If I didn’t go to Angkor, she’d spend the day with me, but I needed to take advantage of good weather after waiting the rain out so I spent three consecutive days exploring the ancient temples, leaving the girls alone in Siem Reap.

I bought a 7 day pass to have enough time for even the more remote temples, but things went pretty smoothly so after three days, I had all of the temples on the Petit Circuit and the Grand Circuit covered, leaving me with 4 extra days to do the remote ones. The Petit and Grand Circuits are within main Angkor area where all of the famous and popular temples can be found, so by covering them all, I virtually had Angkor explored and everything on top of that would be an added bonus. One exception to this rule was the temple of Banteay Srei.

Banteay Srei

Banteay Srei temple is located about 25km from the main Angkor area (the area with where all famous and all biggest temple can be found – aka the area where most tourists go), however even though small in size, its intricate and elaborate carvings on red sandstone make Banteay Srei visually appealing so many organized tours include it in their itinerary. As a result, Banteai Srei, even though much smaller and significantly further away from Siem Reap, sees more visitors that Banteay Kdei – the temple on the Small Tour (Petit Circuit) where I made friends with villagers. While this is mostly a marketing pull on behalf of tour organizing companies, Banteai Srei did also gain notoriety among budget travelers which landed the temple a title of the “Jewel of Khmer Art”. As such, Banteai Srei is very overhyped and attracts tourists like honey attracts flies.

Needless to say – after being to all of the main Angkor temples, Banteai Srei was next on my radar. I knew Banteay Srei was 25 kilometers north of the main Angkor area, which all in all, would add up to being well over 30 km from Siem Reap, but since this part of Cambodia is completely flat, covering such distance on a bicycle wouldn’t be a problem. Sun and heat would be the biggest challenge, with potential of hostility from locals being close second. Afterall, being so far away from Siem Reap, all tourists who make it to Banteay Srei get there either in a bus as part of an organized tour, or by Tuk Tuk they hired in town. Omnipresent Tuk Tuks and motorcycles are fast moving and don’t draw much attention to themselves. Significantly slower moving bicycle with a foreigner on it, in an area of Cambodia far away from police patrolled streets of Siem Reap or Angkor… that sounded like a straight up death wish.

Photo: To Ensure Only APSARA Authority and Sokimex Can Rip Tourists Off at Angkor, Tuk Tuk Drivers Must Wear Specialty Vests with ID Number

Road Trip

So instead of going all by me onesy on a bicycle, I decided to make my trip to Banteai Srei a Road Trip with guests and kill several birds with one stone. I could definitely do it on a bicycle, but after I took all other factors into consideration, the idea of a road trip prevailed. The undisputed advantages were:

1 – Tuk Tuk Ride

The idea of covering a long distance on a bicycle didn’t scare me. I was fit enough and enjoyed bike riding to the dot, but there were things in Cambodia a wise traveler never lets to slip his mind. But there was one even bigger reason why I had to consider a road trip on a Tuk Tuk and it goes back all the way to me teaching English at Wat Preah Prom Rath:

I have only been in Cambodia for less than 24 hours and I already taught a lecture in one of the classrooms at Preah Prom Rath. I enjoyed this experience profusely and was more than happy to volunteer my time to that cause as the students who attended the classes at the temple were ones who did not have a sponsor who would pay for a semester at a posh school. With me being part of their classes, they got more out of their lectures than students from incredibly overpriced schools such as the ACE – Australian Centre for Education. ACE – despite its high cost, is one incredibly useless school. If I were a parent of any of the kids who paid an incredible amount of money to attend that school, I’d demand a refund and get my kid the hell out of there. Most girls from the Sras Srang village where I ended up spending several months of my stay in Cambodia did attend ACE after sponsors paid for them, but day after day were forced to ask me to explain the lesson to them because they had no idea what it was about after attending a TESOL certified teacher lead class. After I explained it to them, then they understood, but there wasn’t one time in 5 months when any of the girls would return from the class and understand the topic of that day’s lecture.

Back to my English classes at Wat Preah Prom Rath – unfortunately for me, I came to Cambodia with an open mind and a will to dedicate myself to good causes. At the time, all one could find on the internet about Cambodia were utter lies. It took me all together 5 minutes to realize that Cambodians were hostile and that knowledge stayed from the moment I stepped foot on Cambodian soil, to the moment I left it. However even after being in the country for hours and already having experienced much of their hostility, I still lied to myself that there must be some good in Cambodia and if I keep my mind open, I would find it. It was a foolish thing to think.

Unfortunately, this type of mindset set me up for traps from which I could not get out of in the future. The students from my class instantly took advantage of the fact that I offered myself up to them with all openness and used each lecture to pressure me with business solicitations. As days went by and I realized that Cambodians are NOT those nice and friendly people travelers who fear reality make them to be, then I started to build a protective barrier between myself and the locals and didn’t allow anyone to take any more advantage of me, but this wasn’t until a few days after my arrival. During this first lecture of mine, as well as a few subsequent ones, I opened myself up and my students, instead of being grateful that I donated my time and knowledge to them for free, they took advantage of me and swarmed me with business hypes disguised as friendly chats. I reciprocated what I believed was merely an intention to have a friendly conversation with an English speaker, only to be forced into listening to pushy sales pitches from Tuk Tuk drivers and as they kept pressuring me and getting more and more in my face, the only way for me to escape was to eventually say OK to something.

They tried to force me into buying their services, but I told them I wanted to go for a walk that night so I couldn’t use them. Their response was that they would take me to see a sunset over a lake tomorrow then. And then that they would take me to the temples of Angkor. And then something again and again and again and again. From every angle, voices pressuring me more and more and cornering me and getting in my face until I had no choice but to say – “OK, I’ll let you know if I need a tuk tuk, G%$amn it!”

It was truly foolish of me to think that Cambodians would merely care to have a chat with someone from abroad. It’s not the case. It’s never been the case and not even after 5 months in Cambodia it ever happened to be one. But I wasn’t prepared for this to be a fact when I just came there and once a Cambodian forces you into even remotely implying something, then they’re gonna remind you of it day in and day out. And so they did remind me of that time when I said “OK”. Surprise!!!

Tuk Tuk drivers are an incredibly awful lot. They made every minute of my stay in Cambodia outside of my room a nightmare. If I had Ha with me, I could not finish a single damn sentence without one getting in my face and rudely interrupting. As a result, I would not give any of them any business just on principle. If I needed to go somewhere, I’d rather walk in that heat than give a Tuk Tuk driver a penny. Needless to say, they would still bother the living crap out of me, but at least I wouldn’t pay them anything. So it was not easy to actually get one on my own terms and offer him a gig of taking me to Banteay Srei for a road trip. But since this would shake off one of the traps Cambodians caught me in when I was too trusty, I said – why not?

Photo: Ha and Her Daughter at the Entrance Gate to Banteay Srei

2 – Fun Day for Ha and Her Daughter

Hellz yeah – to Ha and her daughter, every day was a struggle to survive (as it was for me, but for completely different reasons) with basically no chance to do anything fun. To Ha, every morning started with thoughts of worry about how she was going to buy food for her little girl. When simple day to day survival becomes your #1 priority, you don’t have the resources to buy basic necessities beyond food, let alone take your kid on a road trip. And knowing darn well how much hardship Ha and her daughter already went through, I instantly realized that affording them a simple day of simple joy would mean the world to them.

And this was the main reason why I opted for a road trip on a tuk tuk, rather than a self ride on a bicycle to Banteai Srei. A tuk tuk can seat up to 4 people easily, so taking Ha and her daughter along wouldn’t cost me any more than going on my own. And even though had I not met Ha, I would still have gone by bicycle, despite pressure from my students, knowing that by taking Ha and her daughter out for a day of fun, I could visit an extra temple without risking a ride through potentially hostile territory, and I would shake off the obligation my students forcibly placed upon me, I saw nothing but pure WIN for everyone in this arrangement.

Photo: Admiring Water Flowers at the Banteay Srei Exhibition Hall and Museum

The only trouble was that the night prior to intended road trip I did not make it to the class, because I stayed at Angkor Wat for night photography. I already had my present for Ha’s daughter with me, but I really wanted to make the day when I give it to her even more special. I wanted to take them away from the worries they experience every day and set their mind on something positive – while they are together, and myself with them. So despite being exhausted and wet (it rained like all hell during my nighttime stay at Angkor and I rode back home in that rain), instead of heading home to take shower and relax a bit, I headed straight for Pub Street and started looking for a tuk tuk driver from my class. Since Pub Street is where majority of foreigners who stay in Siem Reap go after dark, that is where majority of Siem Reap’s tuk tuk drivers aggregate after dark. I knew I stood a decent chance of finding him there as ratio of tuk tuk drivers to foreigners in Siem Reap is rather unfavorable (more tuk tuk drivers than tourists).

Luckily for me – he was there, hiding from the rain under the roof of his tuk tuk. I made arrangements with him, told him when and where to come the following day and told him where and how many of us are going. All set and done, I was ready to go to my room, make myself human again and head over to the Temple Club to meet with Ha so I could take her home with me for a warm shower and comfy sleep. I told her not that I had a gift for her daughter and that after the gift, I was taking them for a road trip to Banteay Srei. I kept it a surprise until the last moment and it paid off big time. Not only did the girls have their first worry free, fun day in a long time, it was also the first time for the little girl in years to feel like she had a father. I may not have made her, but she was in daddy’s arms the whole time. I do not have the words to describe how much it meant to them and to me, but what I got back in child’s laughter and mother’s tears has made an impact you can’t replicate.

Women in Cambodian Society

My English class had on average 30 people attending. That’s about as many as could be fit within the space of our classroom. Strangely enough, there was only one girl in the class, the rest were boys (of which about 10 were monks). Because class was open for anyone who wished to improve their English (this was an advanced speaker’s class), there were odd days when we had two girls in the class, but for the most part there was only one. The disproportionate gender distribution was instantly noticeable and got me curious.

View of the Classroom from the Wat Preah Prom Rath Grounds

Since it was not only my class that suffered from severe lack of women in comparison to men, I asked why there were hardly any girls attention the classes in Wat Preah Prom Rath Pagoda. What I was told was not a bit surprising. My students simply said that if I went to the Khmer University in Siem Reap, I would see the same ratio of women vs men. They said only about 4 girls attended the university, the rest were all boys.

I was curious why that was so I kept asking. Did Cambodian women have aversion to education or was there something else in play? The responses from my students suggested that based on Cambodian cultural and societal beliefs, the place for a woman is at home, looking after children and making her man happy. She is not to care about anything else and should always stay by the side of her man, even if he cheats on her or beats her up, which is a common treatment Cambodian women receive from their husbands.

The world has moved forward and both sexes are deemed equal in most of the world, but some countries still perceive women as the lesser of the two. Cambodia appears to be one of them. High rates of rape also suggest that many Cambodian men perceive and treat women as mere sexual objects. Sadly enough, it is socially and culturally unacceptable for a Cambodian woman to admit pre-marital sex, even if she was brutally forced into it. Because of that, most cases of rape don’t get reported and remain a burden a woman-victim is left alone to bear.

In The End, It Was All About Money

I enjoyed my English class profusely. The class was lead by a Buddhist monk with great command of English (the best English I’ve heard any Cambodian speak – I’m guessing he must have gotten scholarship to study in an English speaking country, but I never actually asked to know for sure) and the students, who came from all walks of life were a wonderful bunch. Anyone was welcome to attend the class, but after the class, students paid the Khmer teacher (the monk) 500 Riel (there are 4,300 Cambodian Riel to a US Dollar) each. This didn’t apply to monks. Monks don’t pay.

The students also didn’t have to pay anything to me. The 500 Riel fee for the Khmer teacher was a regular per class fee they’d have to pay regardless of whether I was there or not, but there was no extra cost for the class with me. However, I had to make something very clear right from the get go. Unfortunately, being a foreigner, the first and foremost thing each of the students saw when they looked at me was money. It was really disappointing and it took me a while to eliminate it. Lesson after lesson, either during the class or right after it, various students would approach me with seemingly personal questions, but they always swerved into business solicitations. It would typically go about something like this:

Student: How long have you been in Cambodia for, Mark?
Me: Only for a little over a week now.
Student: How do you like it so far?
Me: It’s very hot, hotter than anything I have previously experienced but I drink lots of coconut so it’s manageable.
Student: Have you been to Angkor yet?
Me: Yes, I went today. It was my first day and it was amazing.
Student: Would you like a tuk tuk for tomorrow?
Me: No, thank you. I have a bicycle and I enjoy riding and exploring at my own pace.
Student: Where are you staying?
Me: In Prom Roth Guesthouse, right around the corner from here.
Student: I know a better guesthouse, can get you a special price.
Me: Thank you for your offer, I may take a look at it later but for now I’m happy with this one.
…

Day after day, lecture after lecture my students would be approaching me with offers clearly directed at making money at me. It only confirmed what I already knew – for a Cambodian, a westerner is nothing more than a wandering cash cow. It was a dog eat dog world in Siem Reap, though. Millions of tourists keep coming year after year, but for each tourist, there are dozens of relentless touts out there. Tourists are pushed beyond their limits and forced to lock in, disregarding any and all locals trying to approach them.

Needless to say, any foreigner who’s been in Cambodia for more than 5 minutes will be so fed up with aggressive touts, they will not accept any more locals into their personal space. As a result, locals know that their chances at striking a successful conversation with a random foreigner on the street are minimal. They simply know that each foreigner, regardless of how long they’ve been in Cambodia, has already been jumped so many time by locals (and each time it was solely for the purpose of making money at them), they have had enough of it and will just beat each next one off without listening to what they had to say.

Siem Reap is overflowing with money hungry Cambodians who wish to skin every foreigner that comes into view off every single dollar they have, but are unable to get to them because their boundaries were already crossed and all locals are already seen as aggressive, money hungry machines that don’t stop at nothing to get their dollars. And then they see me, standing right in front of them, within the walls of the same room, looking straight into their faces instead of looking away to avoid eye contact (in Cambodia, if you make an eye contact, it is perceived as an invitation to let them sell you something) and talking to them without them struggling to get to me. So what do they do?

That’s right… I threw myself right in the viper’s nest. Each of my students had the most seemingly helpful advice for me, because apparently if I buy from anywhere else but from where they say I should, I will buy badly. It went on like that for a few days until I could not take it anymore and made myself clear in front of an entire class. I said the following:

I come here to help you study the English language. I do not take any money for it and I do not expect any. I am here because I enjoy the lectures and like to share the knowledge. However, I do not like that you see my presence as an open invitation to sell me something or get commissions for me. I volunteer my time to help you improve your English speaking skills, but I must ask you to respect me and stop looking for the ways to make money at me all the time. Whatever the type of business you are affiliated with, whatever the type of services you offer – do not solicit any of it to me just because I make myself an easy prey by coming to your class.

Sadly enough, my class was not a part of some overpriced school so anyone was welcome to attend. This was a good thing on one hand, because not many Cambodians can afford to pay $400 per semester for a fancy classroom with a fly-by teacher. Classes like the one I joined allowed people without a sponsor or with lower income levels to still get some education and improve their chances at scoring a better paid job. But because it was so open and affordable, it left me exposed to endless solicitations. In the end, it was all about money for them. You offer them a finger, they don’t just take whole hand. They’ll take all of you.

Helping a Suicidal Girl

I continued attending my English class at Wat Preah Prom Rath, but I missed a few lectures while I was at Angkor. This one time when I did make it back before 5pm, a student came to talk to me after the class and said the his friend’s sister was in a hospital after she nearly killed herself in a suicide attempt. He said the girl swallowed an excessive amount of pills and ended up in an emergency care of the Siem Reap Referral Hospital where she’s recovering.

I knew where Siem Reap Referral Hospital was as I passed by it many times, but I had never actually been inside. I don’t even know why said student would come to tell me about the suicidal girl but I asked him if he could take me to her so I could speak with her and make her feel better about herself so she doesn’t try to take her life again. He said the girl was from a remote village in north-west Cambodia and couldn’t speak any English so there would be no talking to her. He could try to translate but he wasn’t sure how that would go about.

There Was Once a Girl…

The girl and her sister came to Siem Reap a few weeks prior. The village where they came from was very remote and the life in it existed without money. People grew what they needed to eat and used what nature provided to create tools and shelter. The life in the village was simple, but for the most part fairly self sustainable and unless some significant event crossed the path of any of the villagers, they would live and die without ever leaving the place.

The first time either of the girls saw a foreigner was when they came to Siem Reap. Their village was nowhere near any popular tourist route and there was nothing worthy of mention anywhere in the area so their lives consisted exclusively of farming. Had it not been for their father’s illness, they would have never left the village and would have dedicated their lives to the village life like everybody else who lives there. But they were not meant to.

Under normal circumstances, none of the villagers ever worry about money. All they need to worry about is to make sure they have enough rice and live stock to feed themselves with throughout the year and that’s about that. But when girls’ father fell ill, this all has changed and all of a sudden there was an unexpected need for money. So the girls packed up and left for Siem Reap the buzz about which has reached the ears of the villagers.

Because Siem Reap welcomes millions of tourists year after year (and growing), Cambodians associate it with a gold mine. Trouble was, that our two sisters did not speak English or any other foreign language to take advantage of town’s growing popularity and had to settle with non tourism related jobs which don’t usually land as much cash. Both girls started working for an ice factory (like Bruce Lee in Fists of Fury).

Attempted Suicide

They weren’t making much money, but there was at least something left over so they could send it home to support their weak dad. But then something happened and one of the sisters attempted suicide. After just a few months in Siem Reap she tried to kill herself. The world of money sure changes people and enslaves them to the point of no return.

I don’t know why exactly the girl tried to kill herself. She never actually told the truth. I asked, but her response implied that she didn’t want anyone to know. She simply said that she attempted suicide because of family problems. That made little sense though, because in villages where people live together their whole lives, family is the strongest of institutions. People stick together through the fire and the flames because all they have is one another and they know it very well.

It was not my goal to stick my nose into what was none of my business. Whatever the real reason behind attempted suicide, I just wanted to make her feel better at least for that short moment while I was there. I knew that because of where she came from and where she worked in Siem Reap, she never actually had a foreigner talk to her. So, having a foreigner come visit her in a hospital definitely made an impact and I also brought her a small toy to try to put a smile on her face and despite severe stomach pains caused by the pills still in her system, it worked.

Siem Reap Referral Hospital

This was my first time in the Siem Reap Referral Hospital which is not particularly a high class establishment. The bunk beds are cramped together in dark hallways so rooms can be available for operations. While I was there, I saw several badly injured people brought in. Those were the victims of traffic accidents which there are never too few of in Cambodia.

But the most devastating experience was to watch a young man carried in by his brothers. He was in excruciating pain and twitched on bed as if he was being skinned alive. Expression of pain on his face left little out for guessing. I think he was suffering from kidney stones as there are few things that can cause this much pain. The response from a doctor on duty was nowhere near what I would call timely given the suffering this man was going through, but this likely goes with the venue. There are better health facilities with more professional and prompt medical care, but not everybody can afford it. Those who can’t are left with what’s attainable by their means and whether inadequate or not, Siem Reap Referral Hospital is definitely better than nothing at all.

Back to our suicidal girl – I asked a doctor if I could bring my fan to make the hospital stay more bearable for my friend. It just so happened that she tried to kill herself when Siem Reap was hit with a heat wave so wherever you went, if there was no air-conditioning, it would be unbearably hot inside. Siem Reap Referral Hospital is not only not air-conditioned, there are no fans there either.

The hospital was so hot inside, mere sitting there was making people nauseous so when I imagined that there was a girl who suffered from severe stomach cramps that forced her into vomiting every few minutes, I instantly knew she needed a fan to pull through. I wanted to bring my own, but the doc said “No” and there was no changing his mind. I had to go with it, though. I don’t know whether care provided by the Siem Reap Referral Hospital is paid or free, but either way it is available to people with little or no money so they don’t have the resources to cover for the electricity my fan would burn.

Later on, there was a whole groups of people who came to see the suicidal girl. It almost seemed as a solid way to receive compassion and make new friends. We spent a little time with the girl but eventually everybody had to go as it was getting late at night. I was in a group of the last people to leave but the girl wasn’t going to spend the night alone. Her sister was staying by her side so we wished her courage and strength and left. I’ve never seen the suicidal girl again, but that was not the case with her sister.

Brief video of the encounter with the suicidal girl is below:

Domingo the English Teacher

I got to San Pedro de Macoris the following day just before dusk. I made my way to the traffic circle where I previously picked up the hitch-hiker who stole my laptop and parked the car at the opposite side of the road so I have good visibility of the spot where she was standing to hitch a ride but so I am not visible from that spot. San Pedro is the city of more than 200,000 people and this traffic circle marks the beginning of the highway leading to the Dominican capital Santo Domingo so traffic was quite busy and many people passed around. I noticed a great number of young males on motorcycles swishing up and down the streets. Dominicans seem to come out of their houses this time of day, perhaps as it’s after work and there isn’t anything better to do so they meet up to kill time after dark.

I was sitting inside of my rental car while keeping my eyes locked on the spot where hitch-hikers stand to see if I can spot the one who stole my laptop. At the time there were two people standing there, but the thief was not one of them. As time went by, my presence was noticed by one of those young men who swish around on old motorcycles and curiosity got the best of him, so he pulled over by my door and stared inside. I rolled window down and asked him if he spoke any English. He didn’t but said he had a friend who did. Few minutes later he was back with a girl on her own motorcycle. She spoke a little bit of English so I started talking to her but her understanding was very basic so she wasn’t able to follow. Seeing that I had something important to say, she said she knew an English teacher and told me he was gonna be here in about 10 minutes. So I waited.

Sure enough, a little while later a group comes back on motorcycles with a new young man among them. He opens the door and I ask him whether he speaks English. He said in quite clean and unaffected English: “More or less!” This was my man. I asked him if he would like to take a sit on the passenger’s seat, claiming that I had something important to say and needed his help, but had a reward for a person who could help me. Young man took a seat and introduced himself as Domingo.

Domingo teaches English at a college in San Pedro. He has a very sincere voice and eyes and his English was better than just “more or less”. He was the best English speaking Dominican I have ever met and that meant there were no obstacles in how I needed to express myself which made everything easier. Domingo listened carefully and with interest and when I told him everything about what happened and how my laptop got stolen, including the plea that I would pay $1,000 to anyone who can get me my laptop back, he said we were going to go across the street right on the spot where I picked up the hitch-hiker who stole my laptop to talk to the guys who are there. Domingo said that these guys are there every day as this is their bread. They organize buses and gua-guas (cheap but not very comfortable form of transportation in the Dominican Republic) and help travelers with bags for which they get a few pesos to help them get by.

This was it. My intentions to trace my stolen laptop with my own devices was off to a good start. Finding someone who speaks good English in the Dominican Republic is a tough task. Doing it in a town like San Pedro de Macoris which is not a tourist trap because it doesn’t have anything interesting for foreigners is even more difficult yet thanks to Domingo the English Teacher who learned to speak English on his own out of his own interest this became a no issue. I had a person to help me communicate with others despite my non ability to speak Spanish. The first, very important step on my way to trace the whereabouts of my stolen laptops and/or the person who did it went down smoothly and made everything that went down from this point on so much easier. Domingo the English teacher was the best thing in whole of the Dominican Republic.