A Visit to Banteay Srei Temple

Isvarapura, or Banteay Srei as it is known today, is an ancient Khmer temple located about 25 km north of Angkor Wat. Its “out of the way” location and insignificant size make Banteay Srei seemingly unimportant, however through inclusion in most tour packages, it sees a fair amount of visitors. Frequently referred to as “Citadel of the Women”, allegedly because it was the women who decorated it, its name kept popping up in most conversations I had with locals before and during my trips to Angkor. If the temple was completely off my radar before, soon after I started touring the temples of Angkor, the impression that Banteay Srei was a “must not miss” became apparent. From students whom I taught English at the Preah Prom Rath Pagoda, through my coconut friends at Angkor Wat all the way to the villagers from Sras Srang with whom I ended up spending most of my time in Cambodia, everybody kept asking me if I already paid Banteay Srei a visit. When I told them that I’d never even heard of that temple, everybody gasped for the air and insisted that I definitely include it in my plan. I had so much of the “citadel of the women” name enter my ears, I was afraid to look at the toilet paper after I wiped my butt off for fear that I’d see the name of the temple etched on it.

Photo: Gate in the Second Enclosing Wall to Banteay Srei
Photo: Gate in the Second Enclosing Wall to Banteay Srei

Road Trip to Banteay Srei

While all of the temples you would have heard of and wanted to visit prior to coming to Cambodia are located reasonably close to one another and can be visited in one go, a visit to Banteay Srei requires a detour that’ll eat a good chunk of the day on its own. Since everybody kept shoving that Banteay Srei hype down my throat, I decided to dedicate whole day to it and combine it with a road trip present for Ha and her daughter. I picked up Ha from the Temple Club after returning from a nighttime stay at Angkor Wat, made sure she gets good sleep and takes shower in warm water before leaving my air conditioned room the following day to see her daughter. As part of my surprise package, I started the day by giving Ha’s daughter a present, took a bunch of picture of the four year old girl wearing her new top and as soon as we were done, a we heard a tuk tuk pull over just outside of the room where Ha and her daughter lived. It was my student from the English class with whom I made prior arrangements.

I knew Ha didn’t have anything to do during the day, because she couldn’t score a job in Cambodia so there was zero risk of either her or her daughter being unable to go. So when the tuk tuk showed up and everybody kept wondering why it would come to that remote part of Siem Reap where no foreigners ever go, I simply told them to get dressed, because we’re taking a road trip to Banteay Srei. I had to explain to Ha that I didn’t know whether they’d be able to go inside the temple as all non Cambodians need an expensive entrance ticket, however should we fail sneaking them in as Cambodians, I’d just leave them in a nearby restaurant for a meal while I take off on my own to take a few pictures of the temple. The excitement was instantaneous. We picked up a few sandwiches from a store next to their hut and set off for an hour long ride to Banteay Srei on a tuk tuk.

It was a very, very hot day so a ride in a tuk tuk felt very refreshing. The movement of air kept washing sweat off our faces as we rode through Angkor and on to Banteay Srei. The excitement in voice and actions of Ha’s little girl was extraordinary. This was the first time in over a week that she got a chance to do something other than staying inside the shed her mother rented from her Cambodian uncle. It felt like family going on a family trip.

Banteay Srei Temple

In spite of its popularity, Banteay Srei is not as overrun with touts as temples in the main Angkor area. While area around Banteay Srei is as flat as elsewhere in central Cambodia, the immediate surroundings of the temple were rich in plant life growing out of well kept pools of water. Small exhibition hall with brief introduction on the temple can be found on the way to Banteay Srei from the parking lot.

Photo: Admiring Water Flowers at the Banteay Srei Exhibition Hall and Museum
Photo: Admiring Water Flowers at the Banteay Srei Exhibition Hall and Museum

Banteay Srei is the only main temple of Angkor that was not founded by a king. Its founder – Yajnavaraha – the grandson of king Harshavarman served as an ayurvedic medic and a priest during the reign of kings Rajendravarman and Jayavarman V. According to the stele inscription, Yajnavaraha had the temple completed by 967 AD and dedicated it to the Hindu god Tribhuvanamaheshvara (Shiva). The dedication to Shivanism is evident through intricate carvings covering the walls of the temple. Carvings in red sandstone are well preserved and seemingly the temple’s strongest tourist attractant. Many speculate that the fine art that these carvings represent could only be done by the hands of women, hence the temple’s title of the “Citadel of the Women”. Others however maintain that the name relates to the many reliefs of Apsaras (female dancers) found throughout the temple.

Banteay Srei Carvings

The most famous carvings on the walls and lintels of Banteay Srei portray the scenes from the life of Shiva, though parts of the temple were clearly also dedicated to Vishnu. In one of the triangular pediments above doorways, the demon Ravana is seen shaking Mount Kailasa above which Shiva is enthroned. In the same scene, Kama is seen arriving to disturb Shiva’s meditation. Other carvings portray “The Rain of Indra” or “The Killing of Kamsa” both of which are important stories from Indian mythology. Some of the carvings were moved to the Khmer museum in Phnom Penh and some are in Paris, France after being recovered from the hands of collectors who bought them from Cambodian looters. Apsaras stolen by French adventurer/thief André Malraux were also recovered and contributed to the popularity of the temple worldwide.

Thanks to vast funding from the Swiss government, Banteay Srei went through extensive restoration works so temple appears well preserved and carvings are in good shape. The Swiss government also financed the installation of a drainage system around the temple which prevented further damage to the structure by water. Despite vast investments from the Swiss, nothing could prevent the destruction of Banteay Srei by the locals who looted and vandalized the living bejeezus out of it. After the original statues were replaced with replicas, the locals vandalized the replicas. But their greed didn’t stop there. A typical Cambodian mindframe dictates that “if I can’t have it, at least I’ll destroy it”! As a result, after the statues of Vishnu and Uma were removed from Banteay Srei, they were assaulted by vandals while placed at the National Museum in Phnom Penh for safekeeping.

Photo: Banteay Srei Pediment Carvings Bear Creatures from Indian Hindu Mythology
Photo: Banteay Srei Pediment Carvings Bear Creatures from Indian Hindu Mythology

Banteay Srei – Conclusion

Banteai Srei is about an hour drive from Siem Reap town. It’s distance from Angkor proper (where most temples are located) makes a visit to Banteay Srei slightly inconvenient. It’s also a small sized temple so one would think that an extra long trip for this little would make no sense. Yet Banteay Srei receives more visitors than many larger temples on the Petit Circuit, including Banteay Kdei where my villager friends operate as touts. What makes Banteay Srei this popular are intricate carvings covering nearly every square inch of the temple. If elaborate, fine carvings are your thing, then made sure you don’t give Banteay Srei a miss.

The temple is also surrounded by nice water gardens which make the access to it more picturesque. I don’t know what they look like in dry season, but rainy season keeps them lush and rich, which offers great opportunities for photography. I am personally glad I went to visit Banteay Srei, but that was because I had 7 days to explore Angkor. If I only had a daily pass, I’d probably give this temple a pass. I’d likely pass on it with a 3 day pass also. However since vast majority of foreigners who visit Angkor do so on a single day pass and buy a tour package from their hotel, they do get to see Banteay Srei because tour companies have this temple included (and temples like Banteay Kdei excluded) in their packages. This is likely part of their marketing strategy. Through its red sandstone walls covered with exquisite carvings, a trip to Banteay Srei offers the visitors something different from majority of temples at Angkor proper. If I had wealthy clients, I’d take them to Banteay Srei too. Taking them to temples like Banteay Kdei, which are in more state of ruin and nigh identical to many other temples would be like showing them the same thing they had already seen.

Photo: Access to Banteay Srei Central Sanctuary is Prohibited
Photo: Access to Banteay Srei Central Sanctuary is Prohibited

BTW – both Ha and her daughter did get inside Banteay Srei even though only I had the pass. Being Vietnamese, Ha looks just as any Cambodian girl would and since she could speak a bit of Cambodian, we were able to fool the guard. It’s not like they would gain anything if they kicked them out and barred from from entering…

More photos of Banteay Srei can be found in the Banteay Srei Photo Gallery

Road Trip to Banteay Srei

This whole road trip idea was planned out to be a surprise for Ha and her daughter. I knew Ha couldn’t score a normal job in Cambodia – being both Vietnamese (keep in mind that Cambodians are extremely racist – just ask any Vietnamese person who’s ever visited Cambodia) and illegal to seek employment in Cambodia, so the only option she was left with was prostitution in Siem Reap‘s night clubs. However, the more time she spent with me, the wearier she kept getting of this whole idea of selling her body for money. Since she couldn’t have an actual job, Ha would the daytime with her daughter, as there was simply nothing other she could do. If I didn’t go to Angkor, she’d spend the day with me, but I needed to take advantage of good weather after waiting the rain out so I spent three consecutive days exploring the ancient temples, leaving the girls alone in Siem Reap.

Photo: Ha and Her Daughter on the Way to Banteay Srei Temple During Our Road Trip
Photo: Ha and Her Daughter on the Way to Banteay Srei Temple During Our Road Trip

I bought a 7 day pass to have enough time for even the more remote temples, but things went pretty smoothly so after three days, I had all of the temples on the Petit Circuit and the Grand Circuit covered, leaving me with 4 extra days to do the remote ones. The Petit and Grand Circuits are within main Angkor area where all of the famous and popular temples can be found, so by covering them all, I virtually had Angkor explored and everything on top of that would be an added bonus. One exception to this rule was the temple of Banteay Srei.

Banteay Srei

Banteay Srei temple is located about 25km from the main Angkor area (the area with where all famous and all biggest temple can be found – aka the area where most tourists go), however even though small in size, its intricate and elaborate carvings on red sandstone make Banteay Srei visually appealing so many organized tours include it in their itinerary. As a result, Banteai Srei, even though much smaller and significantly further away from Siem Reap, sees more visitors that Banteay Kdei – the temple on the Small Tour (Petit Circuit) where I made friends with villagers. While this is mostly a marketing pull on behalf of tour organizing companies, Banteai Srei did also gain notoriety among budget travelers which landed the temple a title of the “Jewel of Khmer Art”. As such, Banteai Srei is very overhyped and attracts tourists like honey attracts flies.

Needless to say – after being to all of the main Angkor temples, Banteai Srei was next on my radar. I knew Banteay Srei was 25 kilometers north of the main Angkor area, which all in all, would add up to being well over 30 km from Siem Reap, but since this part of Cambodia is completely flat, covering such distance on a bicycle wouldn’t be a problem. Sun and heat would be the biggest challenge, with potential of hostility from locals being close second. Afterall, being so far away from Siem Reap, all tourists who make it to Banteay Srei get there either in a bus as part of an organized tour, or by Tuk Tuk they hired in town. Omnipresent Tuk Tuks and motorcycles are fast moving and don’t draw much attention to themselves. Significantly slower moving bicycle with a foreigner on it, in an area of Cambodia far away from police patrolled streets of Siem Reap or Angkor… that sounded like a straight up death wish.

Photo: To Ensure Only APSARA Authority and Sokimex Can Rip Tourists Off at Angkor, Tuk Tuk Drivers Must Wear Specialty Vests with ID Number
Photo: To Ensure Only APSARA Authority and Sokimex Can Rip Tourists Off at Angkor, Tuk Tuk Drivers Must Wear Specialty Vests with ID Number

Road Trip

So instead of going all by me onesy on a bicycle, I decided to make my trip to Banteai Srei a Road Trip with guests and kill several birds with one stone. I could definitely do it on a bicycle, but after I took all other factors into consideration, the idea of a road trip prevailed. The undisputed advantages were:

1 – Tuk Tuk Ride

The idea of covering a long distance on a bicycle didn’t scare me. I was fit enough and enjoyed bike riding to the dot, but there were things in Cambodia a wise traveler never lets to slip his mind. But there was one even bigger reason why I had to consider a road trip on a Tuk Tuk and it goes back all the way to me teaching English at Wat Preah Prom Rath:

I have only been in Cambodia for less than 24 hours and I already taught a lecture in one of the classrooms at Preah Prom Rath. I enjoyed this experience profusely and was more than happy to volunteer my time to that cause as the students who attended the classes at the temple were ones who did not have a sponsor who would pay for a semester at a posh school. With me being part of their classes, they got more out of their lectures than students from incredibly overpriced schools such as the ACE – Australian Centre for Education. ACE – despite its high cost, is one incredibly useless school. If I were a parent of any of the kids who paid an incredible amount of money to attend that school, I’d demand a refund and get my kid the hell out of there. Most girls from the Sras Srang village where I ended up spending several months of my stay in Cambodia did attend ACE after sponsors paid for them, but day after day were forced to ask me to explain the lesson to them because they had no idea what it was about after attending a TESOL certified teacher lead class. After I explained it to them, then they understood, but there wasn’t one time in 5 months when any of the girls would return from the class and understand the topic of that day’s lecture.

Back to my English classes at Wat Preah Prom Rath – unfortunately for me, I came to Cambodia with an open mind and a will to dedicate myself to good causes. At the time, all one could find on the internet about Cambodia were utter lies. It took me all together 5 minutes to realize that Cambodians were hostile and that knowledge stayed from the moment I stepped foot on Cambodian soil, to the moment I left it. However even after being in the country for hours and already having experienced much of their hostility, I still lied to myself that there must be some good in Cambodia and if I keep my mind open, I would find it. It was a foolish thing to think.

Unfortunately, this type of mindset set me up for traps from which I could not get out of in the future. The students from my class instantly took advantage of the fact that I offered myself up to them with all openness and used each lecture to pressure me with business solicitations. As days went by and I realized that Cambodians are NOT those nice and friendly people travelers who fear reality make them to be, then I started to build a protective barrier between myself and the locals and didn’t allow anyone to take any more advantage of me, but this wasn’t until a few days after my arrival. During this first lecture of mine, as well as a few subsequent ones, I opened myself up and my students, instead of being grateful that I donated my time and knowledge to them for free, they took advantage of me and swarmed me with business hypes disguised as friendly chats. I reciprocated what I believed was merely an intention to have a friendly conversation with an English speaker, only to be forced into listening to pushy sales pitches from Tuk Tuk drivers and as they kept pressuring me and getting more and more in my face, the only way for me to escape was to eventually say OK to something.

They tried to force me into buying their services, but I told them I wanted to go for a walk that night so I couldn’t use them. Their response was that they would take me to see a sunset over a lake tomorrow then. And then that they would take me to the temples of Angkor. And then something again and again and again and again. From every angle, voices pressuring me more and more and cornering me and getting in my face until I had no choice but to say – “OK, I’ll let you know if I need a tuk tuk, G%$amn it!”

It was truly foolish of me to think that Cambodians would merely care to have a chat with someone from abroad. It’s not the case. It’s never been the case and not even after 5 months in Cambodia it ever happened to be one. But I wasn’t prepared for this to be a fact when I just came there and once a Cambodian forces you into even remotely implying something, then they’re gonna remind you of it day in and day out. And so they did remind me of that time when I said “OK”. Surprise!!!

Tuk Tuk drivers are an incredibly awful lot. They made every minute of my stay in Cambodia outside of my room a nightmare. If I had Ha with me, I could not finish a single damn sentence without one getting in my face and rudely interrupting. As a result, I would not give any of them any business just on principle. If I needed to go somewhere, I’d rather walk in that heat than give a Tuk Tuk driver a penny. Needless to say, they would still bother the living crap out of me, but at least I wouldn’t pay them anything. So it was not easy to actually get one on my own terms and offer him a gig of taking me to Banteay Srei for a road trip. But since this would shake off one of the traps Cambodians caught me in when I was too trusty, I said – why not?

Photo: Ha and Her Daughter at the Entrance Gate to Banteay Srei
Photo: Ha and Her Daughter at the Entrance Gate to Banteay Srei

2 – Fun Day for Ha and Her Daughter

Hellz yeah – to Ha and her daughter, every day was a struggle to survive (as it was for me, but for completely different reasons) with basically no chance to do anything fun. To Ha, every morning started with thoughts of worry about how she was going to buy food for her little girl. When simple day to day survival becomes your #1 priority, you don’t have the resources to buy basic necessities beyond food, let alone take your kid on a road trip. And knowing darn well how much hardship Ha and her daughter already went through, I instantly realized that affording them a simple day of simple joy would mean the world to them.

And this was the main reason why I opted for a road trip on a tuk tuk, rather than a self ride on a bicycle to Banteai Srei. A tuk tuk can seat up to 4 people easily, so taking Ha and her daughter along wouldn’t cost me any more than going on my own. And even though had I not met Ha, I would still have gone by bicycle, despite pressure from my students, knowing that by taking Ha and her daughter out for a day of fun, I could visit an extra temple without risking a ride through potentially hostile territory, and I would shake off the obligation my students forcibly placed upon me, I saw nothing but pure WIN for everyone in this arrangement.

Photo: Admiring Water Flowers at the Banteay Srei Exhibition Hall and Museum
Photo: Admiring Water Flowers at the Banteay Srei Exhibition Hall and Museum

The only trouble was that the night prior to intended road trip I did not make it to the class, because I stayed at Angkor Wat for night photography. I already had my present for Ha’s daughter with me, but I really wanted to make the day when I give it to her even more special. I wanted to take them away from the worries they experience every day and set their mind on something positive – while they are together, and myself with them. So despite being exhausted and wet (it rained like all hell during my nighttime stay at Angkor and I rode back home in that rain), instead of heading home to take shower and relax a bit, I headed straight for Pub Street and started looking for a tuk tuk driver from my class. Since Pub Street is where majority of foreigners who stay in Siem Reap go after dark, that is where majority of Siem Reap’s tuk tuk drivers aggregate after dark. I knew I stood a decent chance of finding him there as ratio of tuk tuk drivers to foreigners in Siem Reap is rather unfavorable (more tuk tuk drivers than tourists).

Luckily for me – he was there, hiding from the rain under the roof of his tuk tuk. I made arrangements with him, told him when and where to come the following day and told him where and how many of us are going. All set and done, I was ready to go to my room, make myself human again and head over to the Temple Club to meet with Ha so I could take her home with me for a warm shower and comfy sleep. I told her not that I had a gift for her daughter and that after the gift, I was taking them for a road trip to Banteay Srei. I kept it a surprise until the last moment and it paid off big time. Not only did the girls have their first worry free, fun day in a long time, it was also the first time for the little girl in years to feel like she had a father. I may not have made her, but she was in daddy’s arms the whole time. I do not have the words to describe how much it meant to them and to me, but what I got back in child’s laughter and mother’s tears has made an impact you can’t replicate.

Present for Ha’s Daughter

After my first meeting with Ha’s daughter, I knew it wasn’t going to be our last. This sort of caught me off guard as all my recent encounters with kids were negative – either trained clowns able to fake-cry on command, going out of their way to get money off of you and telling you to F%$k off if you don’t give it to them, or screaming the entire flight turning an already exhausting experience into a nightmare from hell – so if you even remotely brought up anything to do with kids, I would have told you to keep them as far away from me as possible so nobody gets hurt. But bubbly personality Ha’s daughter was radiating got the best of me.

After I embarked on my third day of Angkor exploring, I took on the Grand Circuit in a counter-clockwise direction with a mandatory stop at my new-found friends’ from the Sras Srang village. The temple of Banteay Kdei was about 12 km away from where I stayed in Siem Reap, and just a corner turn away from the Grand Circuit which made it a perfect, strategic stop to recharge on energy with coconut water and cool off the sweat the ride so far has resulted in. But I also had an extra plan for the stop at Banteai Kdei.

When I first went with Ha to see her daughter, I made a quick stop at a convenience store to buy candy. I thought it would make a kid happy and pre-occupied enough to leave me the hell alone. It did make her happy – beyond happy – but it didn’t keep her off of me, though by that time I didn’t mind. Obviously, buying the kid a simple thing which her mother could not afford to buy meant a world to the little girl. Anticipating my next meeting with her, I thought I was gonna buy something more sustainable and less damaging to her already spoilt teeth. I had to take two things into an account:

  • No matter where in Siem Reap I go, I’d get ripped off
  • Ha was always by my side, except from times when I was at Angkor

I wanted to make it a surprise so buying anything in Siem Reap would defeat this idea. And since any business in Siem Reap would try to rip me off as much as any tout at Angkor Archaeological Park would, there was no benefit to buying in town over buying at Angkor. On top of it all – my relationship with the Sras Srang villagers was nicely developing so I thought I’ll get the best of both world and buy something for Ha’s daughter from them.

As much as I enjoyed the company of the villagers, they were still Cambodians and I was still a foreigner. For them it’s always an “Us Against Them” game so as I kept spending more and more time with them, but buying nothing except a whole pile of coconuts every day, they continued bugging me and requesting that I fall for their sales pitch and spend more money. Under normal circumstances, I would not give in to the pressure of pestering touts (except that one time when the little girl tout who broke into tears after a would-be customer bought from somebody else), but since I wanted to buy Ha’s daughter something anyway, so why not from my new friends? Whom better to support financially than people with whom I was gonna spend several month with (though at the time I didn’t quite know it yet)? So I did just that. It didn’t ease the pressure one bit, but gave me an extra argument to counter theirs with when they tried to force me into buying some more.

Granted, everything they sell at Angkor is a piece of junk. There are basically two types of items you can buy: bootlegs of all sorts and miserable quality t-shirts. I didn’t have many options so I went for a low quality t-shirt. I’m not very good at buying presents so I had to make it easy on myself. The biggest challenge I was faced with was trying to guess the right size for Ha’s daughter. They had children sized tops with elephants on them in both small and medium. I asked my friends to get some four year old girl touts to come over so I can test the size on them. Since Ha’s daughter was the same age and racial differences are minimal between the Vietnamese and the Cambodians, I thought this was gonna help me choose the right size. I ended up going with medium sized top as small seemed as though it was meant for infants. I also thought buying the top that’s a bit too big would be better in a long run than getting one that’s a bit too small. The four year olds grow big quickly, so if the garment is a tad large right now, it’ll fit just fine later. Whereas if it’s already tight, it’s gonna be completely unusable very soon.

My suspicion was correct – the medium sized top was still a bit too big for her, but that mattered not. Both Ha and her daughter were beaming with delight when I pulled the top out of my camera bag and handed it to the little girl. I haven’t seen this much happiness in a very long time. The girl was so excited she instantly wanted to pose for pictures with her new top on. She loved having her pictures taken and as a photographer, I loved taking them. Four year old, but so photogenic and just shining with glamour. Little did they know at the time that this was naught but the beginning. The main surprise of the day was yet to come.

Gallery of pictures I took of Ha’s daughter wearing the top I bought her from the villagers at Banteay Kdei temple is below:

End of a Career as a Prostitute

Visiting Angkor Wat was a big item on my Bucket List so I was glad that after more than a week of being in Cambodia but being unable to go see the ancient temples due to daily downpours, the weather improved and I got a stretch of several consecutive days of sunshine. It was getting kind of weird because I continued to teach English at the Preah Prom Rath Temple every day and my students kept asking me the same thing they ask every foreigner (Cambodian way to start a conversation to eventually swerve it into an attempt to make money off you) – “how do you like Angkor Temples?” I could only answer by saying: “I don’t know, I haven’t been to Angkor yet.” And everybody would stare at me with gaping mouth cause it seemed like I’ve already been there for ages. I assured everyone that it is my foremost interest to do a thorough exploration of the Archeological Park, but I wanted it to be a memorable experience so I patiently waited bad weather out.

Then the day the weather improved I met Ha so on my first hot and sunny day in Cambodia, I just looked around realizing that this was to be my opportunity to see Angkor at last, but instead I’m spending my time with a girl I met in a bar the night before. That didn’t bother me one bit, though. Angkor temples have been there for centuries. I knew they wouldn’t run away and as I kept getting to know Ha a little better, I was truly glad I got to spend some quality time with her. Then I got to meet her daughter and everything inside of me changed.

I still wanted to pursue my dream of visiting Angkor Wat at the earliest suitable time but above all else, I had to keep my wits with me and never take anything for granted. I mean – there was not a slightest sign of lie in Ha’s eyes or voice, but she was still a girl I just met in a bar. I can read people really well, but I never place all my bets on one card. After a nice day spent together with Ha and her daughter, a day I would have made my first day at Angkor had I not met her, I told her that the following day and each day thereafter, if the weather was nice, I would leave early in the morning and head on my bicycle for Angkor. There would be no knowing when I would come back, and I still wanted to continue with my English classes in the evening, but come nightfall, I’d definitely be already kicking around Siem Reap so if she was up for that, we could hang out together then. My thinking was – if we are meant to meet again, we will so there was no reason to put Angkor off any longer.

After my first day at Angkor, I went to check if Ha was at the Temple Club but didn’t see her there so I left only to be halted by her friend (aka another prostitute on a lookout for a customer) who noticed me at the very last moment and sent Ha after me. This was the only night after the night I met Ha when she tried her luck as a prostitute in a bar. It didn’t work out, nobody picked her up so she went with me and told me that the following day, even if it’s nice again and I end up going to Angkor again, she would just come straight to my room to spend the night with me instead of trying for any more customers in a bar.

I was plain and simple the worst type of guy she could have ended up going with on her first night out as a prostitute. She didn’t want to sell her body, but needed money for her daughter and this was her only option. The feelings of not really wanting to do that were suppressed by the necessity to provide for her child. But then I came along and not only re-ignited those feelings, I made them so much stronger she could no longer suppress them. This was the end of her “career” as a prostitute. With that however, I unwittingly took upon myself the responsibility to provide for both of them. I was on a budget to begin with, but I could see that every penny spent on food for those two girls was money I could not have spent any better.

Photo: What Life Does Future Hold For These Two?
Photo: What Life Does Future Hold For These Two?

I gave Ha a little bit of money each day so she could buy the most necessary groceries to keep them from starving while I was gone and when I was around and went to visit Ha’s daughter, I always bought her some sweets and treats. The joy in that little girl’s eyes made the money spent so worth it. But the more time I spent with them, the more I learned about what they have and are going through and it kept bothering me beyond belief. Ha and her daughter were betrayed by the whole world. They could not stay in their homeland of Vietnam because little girl’s wealthy father had his men after them and out there in the foreign lands there was just no reasonable way for them to make any money. What chance for a normal life does anybody like them have?

I Can’t Stand Kids No More

It’s funny how we sometimes can’t stand certain things yet in the end it’s that very thing that makes us love them. This is exactly what happened to me. I had bad experiences with kids and it got to a point that I couldn’t stand kids anymore but it only took that one kid to make me see them in a whole new light and now I can say that I can’t stand kids no more (no more being the keyword).

When Ha told me she had a child, I had all kinds of weird thoughts. I’ve never had children of my own so my perception of them has always been rather third handed. The last memory I had of kids was that of a horrible plane experience. Each of my three flights from Edmonton to Siem Reap, Cambodia had annoying, screaming kids on board who would not quit yelling for one minute. As if being cramped within a small space, with limited legroom for 10 hour was not bad enough, I also had to listen to nonstop screaming that started before takeoff and didn’t stop until I got off the plane. Long flights tire you down a lot, but having someone scream without a break while you’re at it takes it to a whole new level by giving you a headache from hell.

After this type of experience with kids, I really didn’t feel like coming in further contact with children, no matter how presumably well behaved they were believed to be. That’s why I couldn’t grasp the concept of Ha loving her child. My first thought when she told me that she had a daughter was – “Why don’t you just get rid of it somehow and be done with her? She’ll be no burden to you no more…” I thought she’d be happy if someone wanted to rid her of that kid… I thought she’d grab at the first opportunity to be done with the girl and move on with her life without the annoyance of a spoiled, screaming kid.

Yet she kept mentioning how much her daughter meant to her and how she couldn’t imagine life without her so I just silently wondered what the heck was wrong with her and politely nodded to each of her daughter-full heart pours.

We were at the Royal Independence Gardens admiring the shriek of mesmerising Fruit Bats when Ha told me it was time for her to go home to check out on her daughter and insisted that I go with her. She wanted me to meet the little girl and said she would pay for the Tuk Tuk so long as I come. I was not impressed with the idea, but she had spent whole night with me and went with me to see the bats (aka she went where I wanted her to go) so I somewhat felt obliged to return the favour and go where she would like me to go.

It was a beautiful day but there would be no way for me to use it to initiate my Angkor Archaeological Park exploration adventure and since I had nothing more exciting lined up for today, I agreed I would accompany Ha to her uncle’s place where she was staying and meet her daughter. I really enjoyed Ha’s company and wanted her to spend more of the day with me, but for that she needed to go home to change clothes and do whatever other things she needed to do so it only made sense that I would go with her.

We flagged down a Tuk Tuk, the driver saw me which meant he tried to overcharge us for the ride but Ha put him in place and we headed towards the north east corner of Siem Reap, to an area far away from where any foreigners ever go. The houses there looked the way most Cambodian houses do – thatched barns on stilts made exclusively of wooden planks. This is what most Cambodians live in and so did Ha’s uncle and his wife who accommodated Ha during her stay in Siem Reap.

The house had a little storage room attached to itself at the front end, it was only big enough to have one bed also made of bare wooden planks inside and that’s where Ha and her daughter were staying. Roof was covered with random, irregularly shaped pieces of metal, wood and thatch, with many holes that let water in when it was raining. Since there was nowhere to hide inside of that room and since it was rainy season, the two ladies must have been getting rained on on regular basis. From a westerner’s point of view, it looked like something I wouldn’t even throw a dog to live in and here it was used as the only way by a 23 year old girl and her 4 year old daughter. But the worst part was, that they had to pay (unreasonably high) monthly rent for it.

Photo: Big Lizard Crawling Down The Base of the House Where Ha and Her Daughter Lived
Photo: Big Lizard Crawling Down The Base of the House Where Ha and Her Daughter Lived

From what Ha explained to me, her uncle wanted to actually help her out and wouldn’t mind leaving her in the room for free, but his wife (Who is Cambodian – typical) was against and decided to cash on a desperate couple that didn’t have many options and had to take whatever was offered to them. Way to make a bank on other people’s misfortune.

This was how Ha and her daughter lived. No wonder she was so excited to accept my invitation to sleep with me in an air conditioned room, on a soft bed with blankets and with shower with clean water. Coming from a dog house that looked like slaves storage facility, anything would be an upgrade.

Photo: Home Made Decoration Reflected The Condition of the House
Photo: Home Made Decoration Reflected The Condition of the House

But let’s get back to kids and how I couldn’t stand them. After I had met with Ha’s daughter, my hatred for kids was gone. I started to understand what she meant when she said that she loved her daughter and could not imagine her life without her. I started to understand where the beauty of small children lies. My perception of children was wrong, but was I in for a surprise! If at some time I couldn’t stand kids, then after meeting Ha’s daughter this feeling was in me no more.

Photo: Little Girl Showing Me Where She Lives
Photo: Little Girl Showing Me Where She Lives

More photos of this little girl in the 4 Year Old Daughter Photo Gallery.

Four Year Old Daughter Photo Gallery

When I first met Ha’s four year old daughter, the little girl was crying. I had some chewing gums on me so I gave her the pack which made her stop. I don’t know exactly why she was crying, but I know that she was nothing like I expected. I went to meet with Ha’s daughter anticipating a spoiled kid that screams all the time and acts like a general irritation, but she was none of that.

I will leave the pictures in a gallery below to speak on my behalf. Even if you were like me – someone who used to perceive kids as sheer annoyance, you would instantly start seeing children as a blessing, instead of a curse. This girl was the embodiment of cuteness and was well behaved and respectful. She was nothing like the kids from the plane. I was reluctant to go spend time with a kid, but after experiencing her bubbly personality, I actually had to pull my camera out and snap some pictures so I can print some for Ha.

Realizing the hardship Ha told me about, I felt even more inclined to try to seek for solution and help so they don’t have to spend their lives running and hiding. This little girl should go to school and get education. She should also get some medical care, including dental care because that cavity in her front tooth spoils otherwise gorgeous smile. This girl deserves to enjoy her childhood and go out to have fun with her friends. But for this to happen, something would have to get fixed. The two are constantly on the move so she can’t make any friends and because they don’t have any money, their health issues are not looked after. They can’t afford a toothbrush or a toothpaste so cavities are inevitable. And that makes their story so much sadder.

Because father of this girl is an American, she doesn’t look obviously Vietnamese. WHile she does have some Vietnamese features, she’s a Caucasian cross with dark eyes.

True Yet Sad Life Story of Ha

The life story of Ha, the Vietnamese Prostitute who is not really a prostitute started as a fairly happy one, but turned into a very, very sad and frightening sequence of events. I met her on the first night she attempted to sell her body to men for money because she had no other option. So even though she had attempted a route of prostitution, she’s never ended up being one thanks to me getting mixed in an equation. Still, her true life story is very sad and I hope she as well as her daughter get to enjoy the life they deserves soon. The revelation of this life story started on the morning after our first night together, but it took several days and nights spent together to paste all the pieces together and get a clear picture of the nightmare these two girls live on a daily basis.

Being an attractive girl, Ha grew up with a lot of attention from boys. There was nothing wrong with it and every girl would have wished to be like her. Life was generally good, even though she grew up in Vietnam which came with its own ups and downs of the communist regime. At some point in her late teens, Ha went to Thailand where she met with that American guy. The fact that she was from Vietnam made her open to anyone from the Western world as that was the opportunity for her to escape rather limited possibilities of self application her home country was offering.

Said American man was excited to learn that Ha was from Vietnam because he saw vast business opportunities opening in this South East Asian country with introduction of inexpensive scooters to the Asian markets. At that time, the predominant means of transportation in Vietnam were bicycles. You may recall pictures of thousands of bicycles filling the streets of Saigon which were so popular in magazines like National Geographics. This was all about to change and motorcycles were to become the new pink in Vietnam, replacing obsolete bicycles as an improved, more exciting transportation option.

Ha was promised the American man would marry her if she helped him to start the motorcycle business in Vietnam. One thing lead to another and before you knew it, the two were in Vietnam, the man starting up a business that was bound to succeed and Ha ended up pregnant. When that happened and when the business started to rock and roll, the man who promised her heavens suddenly changed. He started ignoring Ha and kept cheating on her and doing it openly. Due to Vietnam’s weak justice system, the man kept sexually abusing underage girls but got away with everything as he was able to buy favors of any Vietnamese official that was in the way. In a corruption ridden country, he who has more money wins.

Having been left pregnant in Vietnam, where single mothers are socially unacceptable, Ha tried to pledge with the man who knocked her up to provide for her during pregnancy and fulfill his promise to marry her. He rejected the unborn baby and ordered Ha to stay away from him or else. She had nowhere else to go, no man would take a woman who’s pregnant with another man’s child, so she tried to appeal to him, but his true colors kept showing more and more each day. As his business grew, he used the money to run Ha and her family to the ground. Ha’s mother was forced into bankruptcy and had her house taken away from her while Ha was being threatened that if she doesn’t get out of his way or has an abortion, she will come to a sad end.

As the man kept sexually abusing new girls every day, many of which were way too young for sex, there were more and more of them that ended up pregnant. Several were found dead in dubious traffic accidents the police refused to investigate. Fearing that Ha could encounter similar fate, she stopped asking the man for financial support and marriage. Later on she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

The man who previously tried to force her into abortion, changed his attitude when he saw the little girl. She was the cutest baby in the entire world and he has decided that he wanted her for himself. Financially deprived Ha who saw her family hit rock bottom after the man who got her pregnant destroyed their lives saw something bad happening if little girl was to end up in the hands of a man who had previously sexually abused prepubescent girls on several occasions. But through his connections and corrupt jurisdiction, he was able to get the baby temporarily. After a month, Ha got the girl back and found baby’s vagina swollen and discolored. Being only four months old, baby was put on medication and it took more than a month for the irritation and bruising to go away.

The man refused all accusations that he had anything to do with it and threatened Ha that he would make her suffer or worse if she doesn’t stop snooping around. At the same time he demanded that she gives him her daughter for he liked the baby and wanted her for himself while keeping Ha out of her life. Ha tried to pledge with him but threats continued and violence kept growing until such point that Ha had to run away from the town where she lived and hide with her relatives at the opposite end of Vietnam.

That didn’t go over well with the man who wanted the baby and Ha out of his way. His men found her at the relatives but she was able to get away last minute and escaped to places where none of her relatives lived so there was nothing to connect her with the place. Being constantly on the run with little baby in the tow, Ha was unable to get a job and make enough money to provide for the little girl. Life of fear and deprivation became her true life story. She could not stay anywhere for an extended period of time and could not live as a free person. It went on like that for a couple of years but the man never stopped pursuing his revenge. He wanted her to pay for the nerve of not giving him her daughter as he demanded, and escaping his pursuit.

When little girl was 4 year old, Ha had no more places in Vietnam where she could hide so she escaped to Cambodia. She ended up in Siem Reap where one of her distant uncles lives. The uncle is Vietnamese born, but married a Cambodian woman and lived in Cambodia since. They have a small house on the outskirts of this popular tourist destination and this is where Ha and her daughter sought temporary refuge. She was in a foreign country, she couldn’t speak the language, only a little bit and she had her daughter who needed food to grow up. In order to make money in this environment, she attempted to do the only thing she could – prostitution. If it wasn’t for her daughter, she wouldn’t have done that, but she was able and willing to take anything just as long as she can buy some food for the little girl. That is when I met her.

This was why Ha has never acted like a real hooker. This was why she never got cold with me like hookers do with their customers after they’re done. But this is also why she had to ask me if I could give her some money to buy food for her daughter even though we never engaged in a hooker/john relationship. The details of her life story were shocking. This was not simply presented to me the way I am presenting it here. This was revealed bit by bit as I kept digging and digging, asking question after question until pieces of the puzzle started to come together and revealed the bigger picture. Ha was one strong woman, but she didn’t deserve to live like that. Nobody deserves to live in constant fear and run and hide all the time because your own country will not provide you with any protection from a man who has more money than you, so he can buy the justice to side with him. I knew I needed to help her, but how?