To an average visitor, the temples of Angkor may appear as piles of rock – ancient structures in a great state of ruin, often overrun with jungle but we must not forget that they were built to be sacred places that are still used as places of worship by the local populace. Most of the temples that are still standing contain at least one sanctuary housing a statue of Buddha (or other divinity) and are deeply venerated by a steady flow of worshippers, including monks. It was with great disappointment that I saw so many westerners disrespect these sacred spaces by walking around wearing baseball hats sideways (wigger style), speaking loudly with their friends, and even walking in front of a person kneeling before the statue, interrupting their connection with the deity portrayed.
Photo: Cambodian Woman Praying Before the Statue of Buddha at Bayon Temple
Cambodians must have grown used to the westerners and their apparent lack of respect (or understanding) for their religion, because I’ve never seen or heard any of them speak up and request the westerners to adjust their behavior as a sign of respect for the holy space they are within, but this was something one should not have to ask of another. Just because Cambodians are tolerant of inappropriate behavior of westerners in their sacred places, it should not be seen as open invitation to completely disrespect and desecrate them.
Yes, exploring the temples of Angkor involves a lot of sweating and an exposure to an intense sun, so head covering is often a necessity, however removing your hat when you enter a space with a decorated statue that has incense sticks burning at its base and people praying in front of it is the least of trouble. Yet I’ve always been the only westerner doing it.
Why do so many westerners think that they are too good to have to remove their hats upon entering the Buddhist sanctuary? Does that really make you feel macho that you were able to disrespect the sacred statue of Buddha and got away without? Does it really make you feel macho to announce your presence by shouting when you enter a sanctuary where people are praying to their deities in silence. And does it really make you feel macho to wander in front of a person who’s praying to that statue so you can pose yourself up for a cool photo?
I was definitely a happier camper than most other tourists at Angkor. Their faces ware telling stories of utmost frustration and there was no wondering why. Spending a day exposed to the abuse Angkor touts put foreigners through is enough to drive even the most hard core individual insane. Yet here I was still able to walk through the viper’s nest, into its very core where at the end of it was the shop I wanted to buy a coconut from.
As I saw kids sprinting towards me with various low quality items hanging off of them like shiny balls off a Christmas tree, I countered each of them by reciting their rites before they got a chance to start. I simply said right off the bat that I was from “Canada, capital city Ottawa, population 32 Million, we speak two languages” and concluded my chant by firmly stating that I’m going to the second last shop where my friends work so I can buy everything I need from them. Bam… that shut them off.
It was very hot, I was very tired and was wearing clothes that got drenched many times over with sweat during the day. Sipping energizing fluids out of a cold, freshly opened coconut provided me with an uplifting feeling. Trees provided much needed shade and at times I even caught a little bit of breeze that helped to wash the sweat off my face. Having previously spent over an hour with those girls, we kept chatting about random things and even though many freelance touts still kept trying their tricks on me, I was for the most part left alone. And then I noticed something that was going to completely change my approach towards dealing with touts.
Learn from the Koreans
As I was sitting there blended with the shop, I noticed that if any westerners came into view, all of the touts would jump them in a relentless tactics of pressure but when a group of Korean tourists showed up, none of the touts would make a step towards them, never mind trying to pester them. That instantly boosted my interest and I started asking around:
How come nobody tried to sell anything to any of those Korean people? There was a group of about 30 of them, most of them in their productive years implying that they have their lives well secured and have disposable income to be able to buy anything they want. Yet none of the touts would even try to come to them but if a western backpacker, someone who looks like they’ve been on the road for a while and have to watch what they spend their money on shows up, they get dozens of pestering touts jump them and follow them around not giving them a minute of peace. How is it possible that Koreans are left alone, allowed to enjoy the experience undisturbed, while westerners are pestered on every single step of their way by dozens of relentless touts at any given time?
I asked my new friends why none of them jumped any of the Koreans given that there was such a large group of them. One person trying to sell something to a group of 30 should have a better chance of getting business than 30 people trying to sell something to one person. Yet nobody even moved when the Koreans showed up and I really wanted to know what their secret was – why are Koreans allowed to enjoy the experience undisturbed while westerners are put through hell. It was a million dollar question and I got a million dollar answer:
“Koreans are rude and they ignore us when we talk to them!”
Tip 1 – Ignorance is Bliss
Bingo! I could not have asked for a better pointer. So this is the secret to turning a bastardized Angkor experience into an enjoyable one? Start fighting fire with fire by responding to rudeness with rudeness? Is this really the key to having a peaceful and enjoyable time at Angkor? As it turns out, it really is!
The thing is – Cambodians realized that westerners are brought up being polite and started abusing that fact against them. They knew that us westerners are always told that ignoring is rude and it is not only polite, but downright necessary to at least acknowledge, if not respond to every person who approaches you, even if they are a stranger on a street. As such, you don’t even think about responding when approached by a stranger trying to sell you something – you naturally respond by politely stating that you were OK and didn’t need anything at the moment. Of course, after you have done that the first two million times within a span of one day, it will wear you out and you’ll turn grumpy and look the same all westerners you see at Angkor in the afternoon do.
So the tactics of pestering Cambodian touts is to abuse the fact that westerners are polite by being rude to them, yelling at them, clapping at them from across the street, honking horns at them or otherwise verbally abusing them – because they know it is natural for westerners to respond.
Korean culture and way of life is entirely different so for them – if you approach them with rudeness, you will get rudeness back. Whether by being ignored – which as described here is one of the most powerful tools you can utilize to save yourself from an ongoing headache of being in Cambodia or if that doesn’t do the trick, they’ll deploy the ever so powerful sweeping hand movement.
Tip 2 – Sweeping Hand Movement
Even though vast majority of Cambodian touts won’t bother Koreans, there are still oddballs who go over and beyond the call of duty and wish to take pestering foreigners to a whole new level. After spending a while observing how touts operate, I did on occasion spot a random one trying their luck with a Korean. The response was absolutely priceless:
If a Korean person does get jumped by a tout, they still ignore and say absolutely nothing, but they’d make this hand sweeping movement as if to knock the pestering tout off their coat like bread crumbs. Without any attempt to make an eye contact with a bothering pest, the hand sweeping movement seems to be an extremely powerful way to end the abuse. Following this valuable experience, I’ve tried the hand sweeping movement myself and it worked like a charm. For some reason it looks as though Cambodians found it very offensive when you sweep them off like this so if nothing else works, if you get a super aggressive tout on you that wouldn’t leave you alone no matter what, trying the hand sweeping movement could still do the job. Almost each time I tried it after all else failed, it did free me up from even the most pestering of pests.
This is especially helpful with your pimps who would drive by you on a motorcycle trying to sell you a lady bum bum, cocaine, heroin and whatever other fishy substance you could think off and wouldn’t leave you alone no matter what. Don’t say a word, don’t even turn your head, just do the hand sweeping movement and you’ll see them get right on their way. It’s pure magic.
Photo: Huy Meng Mini Mart in Siem Reap - Many Child Slaves Insist on Buying Them Food from There
Another good example of use are pimped out kids working for organized cartels. These kids are purposefully dressed up in torn up clothes and made to look dirty. They can cry on command and will grab your hand and won’t let go, insisting that you must buy them food or they die hungry. Of course, if you offer to take them to the restaurant where you would buy them the food so they can eat on the spot, they won’t go. They will only accept food from a nearby convenience store with which they have a “contract”. These are extremely difficult to brush off and they are also the rudest of all. Now don’t get me wrong – being rude is natural to all Cambodians so being told to “F%$k Off” if you don’t give them a hand-out, or if you give them not as much as they think they are worth, or if you give them something they don’t particularly like – is absolutely normal and happens all the time in Cambodia, but the pimped out kids are particularly aggressive and particularly rude and will usually not settle with mere “F%$k You”. There will be a whole slew of swearings if they don’t trick you into buying something from the convenience store they are a part of.
Deploying the sweeping hand movement can be the only way for you to get rid of those kids. They will grab you by the hand or by the piece of clothing and will not let go no matter what. If the hand sweeping movement fails, you will be left with no other option but to board a Tuk Tuk and drive away. In this case it’s still you who loses, only now not a pestering kid, but a different tout (Tuk Tuk driver) will get your money.
Tip 3 – Video Camera
It is recommended to eat in westerner owned restaurants when in Cambodia as most local owned ones will attract and won’t deter pestering kids from bothering you while you eat. There is nothing more irritating than spending 20 minutes waiting for your meal after a whole day of exploring Angkor, when you can’t wait till your sizzling stuff makes it to your table cause you’re starving like a lion, then the moment comes, you get your dish, you dig right in, savoring the flavor to the fullest and then a pestering kid comes, shoves itself one foot away from your face and starts chanting some incoherent shite. Needless to say, you just want to enjoy your meal in peace cause you’re really hungry and need energy but this kid will not leave your side and will spoil your dining experience entirely.
There is very little you can do when this takes place. If you happen to find yourself in a restaurant that won’t send the pest away for you (or worse yet, one which encourages them – like a few I have dined in) you won’t be able to explain to them that you can’t buy them food because you only have enough to pay for yours. They either don’t speak English or pretend they don’t which serves as an excuse to stay in your face.
Sweeping your hand doesn’t work very well with these kids. They don’t care that they are disrupting your dinner as it’s that disruption that may force you to shell out so you can finish your meal in peace. Because of that, you usually only have one choice that could still work – point a video camera at them to make it look like you are vidoetaping them pestering you. This will work in 9 cases out of 10. Camera equipped cell phones and 5th generation iPods work just as well.
The thing is – unless you do something that will safely send these pestering kids on their merry way, you will still have them murmuring crap into your ear 5 minutes later. They are extremely hard to shake off so for the most part, unless you have a backup from a Cambodian speaking person who can yell at them in a language they do understand, the only thing that could help is the camera in their face.
Lesson Learned
Even though Cambodia is a country of extremely aggressive touts, you can make it easier for yourself by following the Korean example. It won’t save you from verbal abuse and rude remarks as even Koreans are subjected to it and there’s nothing they can do about it, however you can still cut down on about 95% of direct pestering by completely ignoring them, sweeping your hand at those who still won’t leave you alone and shoving your video camera in the face of the rest of them who make a point off turning your stay in their country into a miserable experience.
Ha introduced me to the hardship she and her daughter were going through, yet even though unintentionally, she was introduced to the hardship I was going through myself – the hardship of being a foreigner in Siem Reap. I didn’t have to say a word, all it took was for Ha to spend some time with me. After a brief while she acknowledged that being a foreigner in Cambodia is truly horrible, because of treatment we westerners receive from locals.
First of all, when I was talking to Ha, I was never able to finish a simple sentence without being interrupted by a pushy Cambodian eager to get money from me at any cost. I would be walking down the street, minding my own business yet because of my skin color, I would be treated like cheap hooker. I’d be yelled yet, clapped at from across the street, honked at, whistled at or just plain have somebody in my face doing his darn best to talk me into buying something from them. There was no end to this abuse and there was not a single minute I would get without being bothered.
No matter where we would go or what we would do, there would be locals jumping me and insisting on doing some business with them. They never take “No” for an answer and treat bothering foreigners almost religiously. It’s as if something terrible would happen if each of them who caught a sight of me (or anyone else who looks like an obvious foreigner) would not make some kind of move at me, whether verbally, by making obnoxious noises or by getting in my face directly.
This is the real Cambodia – extremely hostile towards foreigners and beyond pushy. Ha has never experienced anything like that because she’s Vietnamese and looks too close to being a Cambodian. But as she was there with me, she could see how much I as a westerner have to put up with and how Cambodians would not take NO for an answer and would continue bothering me even if I completely ignored them. It was frustrating the crap out of her and she was not even the victim.
I think every Cambodian should try hanging around with a foreigner to see what it is like when a person doesn’t get a minute of peace without being harassed by a local. And I really hate to sound like I’m exaggerating, but when I say “a minute of peace” I’m actually being excessively generous. If it was only once per minute that some local jumps me, perhaps I wouldn’t even bother writing this post. But Cambodians go way above and beyond harassment. It is virtually nonstop – as a foreigner you get harassed at virtually every moment.
We had to leave talking to when we are in the room as that was the only place where I could finish a sentence without being interrupted by a pushy local. Courtesy and respect are not virtues known to Cambodians. Personal space means nothing to them so they will stick their noses straight in your face and won’t remove them easily. It almost seems as though their strategy at earning your business is to frustrate you to the point at which you eventually give in. Instead of trying to earn your business by offering quality service, they simply believe that after you have been harassed enough, you will eventually break and agree to accept their Tuk Tuk ride or whatever it is they want you to spend money on.
Photo: Siem Reap Tuk Tuk Driver Looking Out for Foreigners
Being a foreigner in Cambodia is truly hard. Most locals or people from the hood would not realize what we foreigners have to go through in Cambodia, but those who try to hang out with one of us will get a first person feel of what it’s like. And what it’s really like is anything but pretty. Ha knows it very well and felt sorry for me. It got to a point when she would jump pushy locals back and scream at them in Cambodian to leave me alone. While I was at the end with my senses despite ignoring all pushy locals, Ha stood up for me and tried to beat off some of that unceasing abuse. Ha introduced me to the hardship she and her daughter were going through, yet even though unintentionally, she was introduced to the hardship I was going through myself – the hardship of being a foreigner in Siem Reap. I didn’t have to say a word, all it took was for Ha to spend some time with me. After a brief while she acknowledged that being a foreigner in Cambodia is truly horrible, because of treatment we westerners receive from locals.
First of all, when I was talking to Ha, I was never able to finish a simple sentence without being interrupted by a pushy Cambodian eager to get money from me at any cost. I would be walking down the street, minding my own business yet because of my skin color, I would be treated like cheap hooker. I’d be yelled yet, clapped at from across the street, honked at, whistled at or just plain have somebody in my face doing his darn best to talk me into buying something from them. There was no end to this abuse and there was not a single minute I would get without being bothered.
No matter where we would go or what we would do, there would be locals jumping me and insisting on doing some business with them. They never take “No” for an answer and treat bothering foreigners almost religiously. It’s as if something terrible would happen if each of them who caught a sight of me (or anyone else who looks like an obvious foreigner) would not make some kind of move at me, whether verbally, by making obnoxious noises or by getting in my face directly.
This is the real Cambodia – extremely hostile towards foreigners and beyond pushy. Ha has never experienced anything like that because she’s Vietnamese and looks too close to being a Cambodian. But as she was there with me, she could see how much I as a westerner have to put up with and how Cambodians would not take NO for an answer and would continue bothering me even if I completely ignored them. It was frustrating the crap out of her and she was not even the victim.
I think every Cambodian should try hanging around with a foreigner to see what it is like when a person doesn’t get a minute of peace without being harassed by a local. And I really hate to sound like I’m exaggerating, but when I say “a minute of peace” I’m actually being excessively generous. If it was only once per minute that some local jumps me, perhaps I wouldn’t even bother writing this post. But Cambodians go way above and beyond harassment. It is virtually nonstop – as a foreigner you get harassed at virtually every moment.
We had to leave talking to when we are in the room as that was the only place where I could finish a sentence without being interrupted by a pushy local. Courtesy and respect are not virtues known to Cambodians. Personal space means nothing to them so they will stick their noses straight in your face and won’t remove them easily. It almost seems as though their strategy at earning your business is to frustrate you to the point at which you eventually give in. Instead of trying to earn your business by offering quality service, they simply believe that after you have been harassed enough, you will eventually break and agree to accept their Tuk Tuk ride or whatever it is they want you to spend money on.
Being a foreigner in Cambodia is truly hard. Most locals or people from the hood would not realize what we foreigners have to go through in Cambodia, but those who try to hang out with one of us will get a first person feel of what it’s like. Then they would change their approach instantly. After meeting with and speaking to countless foreigners in Siem Reap, I could see that this approach hurts local businesses. Foreigners who would otherwise spend more money refuse to go shopping so they don’t have to expose themselves to this treatment and those who would otherwise stay longer are making plans to speed up their departure as they can’t put up with this anymore.
There is no doubt that disrespect of foreigners has opposite of desired effect for locals. Because of that, even if there are any sincere locals who would like to offer sincere service to foreigners, they will be ignored because foreigners are pushed to the limits and have no other option but to ignore. You can see which foreigner has just come to Siem Reap and is still hanging on to being polite and responds multiple times every minute to being jumped by explaining that they are OK for now. You see the same foreigner a few hours later and without responding, they are speedily moving towards their guesthouse to escape the mistreatment.
Because Ha looks like a Cambodian, she was not subjected to abuse but it only took her a few hours of hanging out with me to get fed up with that herself. It got to a point when she would jump pushy locals back and scream at them in Cambodian to leave me alone. While I was at the end with my senses despite ignoring all pushy locals, Ha stood up for me and tried to beat off some of that unceasing abuse.
If you’re doing your homework and looking up info on Cambodians (Khmer people), you may stumble across references about Khmer Hospitality which is allegedly legendary. I had also heard about it prior to my arrival to Cambodia and just as everyone else who came to the country with open mind, I was set up for a big surprise. Legendary Khmer hospitality is a myth. At least the genuine one, but then again – all other forms of hospitality are worse than hostility. Let me explain:
When I was offered sticky rice cakes by complete strangers at Wat Bo temple, it was my day two of a three month stay in the country. This generous gift was from the heart and represented the most sincere form of generosity. Exactly the way I’ve heard about and came to expect. Sadly enough, this was an extremely isolated incident and cases of genuine hospitality and/or generosity towards strangers, especially if the stranger is a foreigner are virtually nonexistent. During the three months following this experience, all I have encountered on daily basis was fake hospitality. What’s fake hospitality?
You see – as a foreigner, you will be nothing less and nothing more to Cambodians than a walking bag of money, or a walking ATM machine if you will. Cambodians won’t see a friend in you, they will only see the opportunity to make money. They may act like the nicest friends to you, but hidden motives will come to light sooner or later. You may even be offered something (aka hospitality), but if you are given something, it’s because they will expect something back in return. The fact that it’s natural for westerners to return the favor was noticed by Cambodians who relentlessly abuse it for their benefit.
You may encounter a random local approaching you with beaming smile, offering you free drink in this scorching weather (or anything else) which will surely leave you in awe. What they’re doing is making you feel obliged to buy something from them. It’s a way to get close to foreigners as it’s getting more and more difficult due to extremely aggressive nature of Tuk Tuk drivers and omnipresent touts. This is not hospitality, this is abuse of the fact that westerners are used to appreciate random acts of kindness and understand the premise of returning the favor.
If you stay in a country for an extended period of time, you will make some local friends. If you are volunteering, you will be dedicating your time, skill and effort (as well as money) to betterment of their lives and locals you will be volunteering for will become your friends. They will not need to “bribe” you with “free” offering the way other locals have to, because they are already close to you so the barrier is broken. They can straight up mention that they are cooking and ask you if you’d like to try a local dish. You will not be asked for anything, but sooner or later the time will come when you will be told something along the lines of: “my mom, who invited you to have papaya salad with us few weeks ago…”
One way or another, you will be reminded that they did something for you. That reminder will come when they need something. They will bide their time until the most suitable time (time that can bring them most in return) comes. Sharing something from the heart, just because it’s the right thing to do and because it gives you good karma points is extremely, extremely rare in Cambodia and if you encounter such thing, you can count yourself as one of very few.
It is important to understand the following:
I understand that Cambodians are impoverished people with bleak outlooks for brighter future as corruption is deeply embedded in all levels of society, including high rank politicians, but that still doesn’t mean that this urban myth should continue being spread on. Legendary Khmer hospitality is a myth. If you want to experience genuine hospitality, where people give unconditionally, without expectations to get something in return, go to Eastern Europe. Finding it in Cambodia is extremely rare. And this is not limited to hospitality. The same applies to help, for example. You won’t get unconditional help in Cambodia. If you are lost, need directions or advice and approach a local, they will instantly try to take advantage of the situation and make something off of you. Under normal circumstances, locals have to fight with dozens of other locals who struggle to get to the foreigner for a shot at making money off of them. If a foreigner makes their own effort to expose themselves to a local, it will be like blessing to the local and they won’t pass on this opportunity.
Genuine hospitality in Cambodia doesn’t exist. As doesn’t unconditional help. I realize that one should strive to only say good things about others and if there is something bad, then you either need not mention it or still need to say it’s good because that’s a nice thing to do. But I believe it’s inappropriate to continue spreading on the myth about legendary Khmer hospitality even though it doesn’t exist. I believe in providing truthful information, not incomplete truth in the name of being politically correct. when something is good, I’ll say it’s good and give due respect and acknowledgement. But when something is bad, I won’t simply ignore it just so I don’t sound hurtful.
The truth is, for one case of genuine hospitality, there are hundred of cases of fake hospitality in Cambodia. Fake hospitality is often camouflaged with fancy fluff so if a person is unobservant or ignorant, they may not even realize that they were taken advantage of. The reason no one will go openly at you with fake hospitality is that in case you are that naive, then there is a chance to take advantage of you repeatedly. Perhaps that’s why urban legends about Khmer Hospitality exist. It’s like brainwash by the politicians – not only will you do as they say, you will even ask for it and recommend your friend to do it that way too.
Manage Cookie Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional
Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes.The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
